I am heading to California to visit my daughter for a couple weeks. I will be doing some work for her to help her with a data entry task for patient files. It will help me to get some office experience that I can use on a resume. Maybe will help me to get a job.
While there I am going to look for a job in and around Temecula where they live. Also going to check out the rental market to see if I can afford to live there.
No jobs in Arizona. I have been here a little over a year and nothing. The web sites and newspaper always show thousands of jobs open in Phoenix and surrounding areas, but there aren't. It is all a scam. I have had more response answering ads on Craig's List. But am Leary of that too. It is all in who you know and who can help you get in the door. I don't have business contacts in Arizona, so I am not getting in the door.
I am hoping that California will work out for me. I think I would like green grass instead of rock and dirt. AZ has been nice, its great seeing daughter, Mandy and kids. It is nice being with my friends, but I need employment. One of my friends recently got a job in Beverly Hills after being out of work the same period of time that I have been unemployed. He is so happy. He could not find anything in Colorado, but California came through. So I am looking.
It doesn't matter where I live, I can still finish school. And thank goodness school starts up again tomorrow. The break is nice, but I get so bored when I don't have homework to do or a paper to write. I really get into my school work, trying to do my very best. This last year of school will be even more challenging since it is mainly focused on the medical industry. The first year was full of core classes for my degree. I could draw on previous knowledge to help me, but now the medical stuff will be all new.
My externship will start at the end of the year. I checked my degree plan and it is only 90 hours, so that's good. That is only about two weeks of working with no pay. Hopefully I will already have a job, so that I can use vacation time to do my externship. I will cross that bridge when it gets here.
Time to do laundry and get packed. I am so excited to take a road trip. My travel companion, my cocker spaniel, Tom, loves to go on a road trip. He gets so excited to get in the car. He just sleeps, but it is always nice to know he is with me.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tough place to be
It is a very tough place to be at this point in my life. I am nearly 60, homeless, jobless, broke, and alone. Kind of sucks to be me; oh but wait, at least I've got my health.
So while counting my blessings; I have 4 fabulous children, who have managed to find awesome spouses to share their lives and have produced some of the most outstanding children. I would have to say that I have left my mark during my time one earth.
God has blessed me; truly blessed me. I may be lonely, I may not have a job, I may not have a home of my own, but He has blessed me to continue on and watch my grandchildren grow up. No, this is not where I want to be, but from some strange reason, it is where I am. I am sure there is a lesson being learned. I just have to meditate,open my heart, and listen to the message. Lord knows I have the time.
I worry about my eldest; my son is a mess. Some his doing, some not, but either way it is a path he chose to follow and now must face the music. He will be fine. There isn't much I can do to help him. I encourage him to stay positive. I let him know that I love him. I let him know that life is full of surprises, and there will be something good just around the corner. He has turned his life upside down for the woman he loves. He is angry and not dealing very well with the loneliness. But he won't leave her. He will wait until she is back in his arms again.
I don't worry about my girls. They each have strong husbands and life is unfolding with ups and downs, but nothing they cannot handle. Each is strong in faith and strong in their family values.
I wish we could all live in the same state, same city, hey even within walking distance; so we could all be together for Sunday dinner. It is a dream that helps me to fall asleep at night.
So I am not where I want to be in my life; but I am getting by each and everyday. I have my family that I cherish. I have friends that help me to keep an open mind and positive outlook. So come on, now, get me out of here, working, and maybe someday I might even open my heart to a new man in my life. I might be just about ready to start dating again. Almost, just about ready to think about dating again.
So while counting my blessings; I have 4 fabulous children, who have managed to find awesome spouses to share their lives and have produced some of the most outstanding children. I would have to say that I have left my mark during my time one earth.
God has blessed me; truly blessed me. I may be lonely, I may not have a job, I may not have a home of my own, but He has blessed me to continue on and watch my grandchildren grow up. No, this is not where I want to be, but from some strange reason, it is where I am. I am sure there is a lesson being learned. I just have to meditate,open my heart, and listen to the message. Lord knows I have the time.
I worry about my eldest; my son is a mess. Some his doing, some not, but either way it is a path he chose to follow and now must face the music. He will be fine. There isn't much I can do to help him. I encourage him to stay positive. I let him know that I love him. I let him know that life is full of surprises, and there will be something good just around the corner. He has turned his life upside down for the woman he loves. He is angry and not dealing very well with the loneliness. But he won't leave her. He will wait until she is back in his arms again.
I don't worry about my girls. They each have strong husbands and life is unfolding with ups and downs, but nothing they cannot handle. Each is strong in faith and strong in their family values.
I wish we could all live in the same state, same city, hey even within walking distance; so we could all be together for Sunday dinner. It is a dream that helps me to fall asleep at night.
So I am not where I want to be in my life; but I am getting by each and everyday. I have my family that I cherish. I have friends that help me to keep an open mind and positive outlook. So come on, now, get me out of here, working, and maybe someday I might even open my heart to a new man in my life. I might be just about ready to start dating again. Almost, just about ready to think about dating again.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Grades are in
I am pleased with my grades from both my classes. I work very hard and put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. Since I do not work, I have the time to devote to my classes. When I finally get a job, I will continue to strive for the best. I set a standard for myself and the person in life I do not want to disappoint is, me.
I am still actively seeking employment. My unemployment extension came through and that pleases me. It is not the same as working, but at least now I can relax a bit and search for jobs in the field I am working towards.
Arizona is my state of choice, but I am now looking for jobs in California. I have a daughter in Temecula, just north of San Diego. She works as a medical office manager for a group of doctors. She may be the link I need to break into the field.
I was going to move to California when I was first laid off but the fear of not having a job and the high cost of living scared me off. I moved to Arizona, where I knew I could afford to live while searching for work. Then, after a month, I started school. School was an afterthought when the job I thought was perfect for me did not work out. So I poured myself into school for the first year and looked for work but was not totally serious. When I started getting serious about working again, it has really been hard.
I have sent my resume to over 500 jobs through job boards on the Internet and direct to websites for employers who were hiring. I have had 3 personal interviews, which none developed into any offers of employment. I have to keep a log of my job search for the unemployment office.
I feel bad that I have not had a job offer. I feel like all the years of experience add up to nothing. When leaving my company I was making a great salary. It was enough for me to afford to own my own home, two as a matter of fact [one a rental], and to be able to not live paycheck to paycheck. I had savings and a padded checking account. I was in a good place financially. I did not like living in Oklahoma, and that was my down fall. When I was laid off, all I wanted to do was get out of Oklahoma and move somewhere warm.
The ice storms and summer humidity where too much for me to handle. I grew up in Colorado, so snow and cold didn't really bother me, but the ice was horrid. And in Colorado, I did not live in a humid climate. While my skin and hair loved the humidity, I did not. I didn't want to go back to Colorado, I only wanted to live where the weather was warm all year round. So I made the sacrifice and moved when my house sold. Little did I know that Arizona was hit so hard by the economy.
It seems the California may be my new home. I will not make a move until I have a job. If I get work, then I will pack up the truck and away I go.
I have many friends in Arizona, and one of my daughters lives here. But by the end of this year, she and her family will be moving back to Colorado. I have a daughter in Minnesota, but no way, it is way to cold there in the winter. My son is now in Texas, and who knows how long he will be there. As many previous blogs, he is not in a good place emotionally. So California is looking good.
As I started, grades are in and I am pleased. It gives me the encouragement to continue college and get my degree. I hope that employers will see the hard work that I have put into school and know that I will work equally hard for them as an employee.
I am still actively seeking employment. My unemployment extension came through and that pleases me. It is not the same as working, but at least now I can relax a bit and search for jobs in the field I am working towards.
Arizona is my state of choice, but I am now looking for jobs in California. I have a daughter in Temecula, just north of San Diego. She works as a medical office manager for a group of doctors. She may be the link I need to break into the field.
I was going to move to California when I was first laid off but the fear of not having a job and the high cost of living scared me off. I moved to Arizona, where I knew I could afford to live while searching for work. Then, after a month, I started school. School was an afterthought when the job I thought was perfect for me did not work out. So I poured myself into school for the first year and looked for work but was not totally serious. When I started getting serious about working again, it has really been hard.
I have sent my resume to over 500 jobs through job boards on the Internet and direct to websites for employers who were hiring. I have had 3 personal interviews, which none developed into any offers of employment. I have to keep a log of my job search for the unemployment office.
I feel bad that I have not had a job offer. I feel like all the years of experience add up to nothing. When leaving my company I was making a great salary. It was enough for me to afford to own my own home, two as a matter of fact [one a rental], and to be able to not live paycheck to paycheck. I had savings and a padded checking account. I was in a good place financially. I did not like living in Oklahoma, and that was my down fall. When I was laid off, all I wanted to do was get out of Oklahoma and move somewhere warm.
The ice storms and summer humidity where too much for me to handle. I grew up in Colorado, so snow and cold didn't really bother me, but the ice was horrid. And in Colorado, I did not live in a humid climate. While my skin and hair loved the humidity, I did not. I didn't want to go back to Colorado, I only wanted to live where the weather was warm all year round. So I made the sacrifice and moved when my house sold. Little did I know that Arizona was hit so hard by the economy.
It seems the California may be my new home. I will not make a move until I have a job. If I get work, then I will pack up the truck and away I go.
I have many friends in Arizona, and one of my daughters lives here. But by the end of this year, she and her family will be moving back to Colorado. I have a daughter in Minnesota, but no way, it is way to cold there in the winter. My son is now in Texas, and who knows how long he will be there. As many previous blogs, he is not in a good place emotionally. So California is looking good.
As I started, grades are in and I am pleased. It gives me the encouragement to continue college and get my degree. I hope that employers will see the hard work that I have put into school and know that I will work equally hard for them as an employee.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Patience, Wish I had some
I keep checking the grade book for my classes. I know, grade do not have to be in until next week, but I as noted, do not have much patience.
I just needed to see something great. I had my appointment with the bankruptcy attorney this morning, paid the retainer, and now the bankruptcy is in the works. It is sad. I feel no relief, just feel like a slug for not being able to meet my credit obligations.
I paid all my bills on time and always more than what was due for the past year, even though I was unemployed. But when I ran out of savings, it was rent and food, or bills. I chose to pay the rent. I moved in with a friend and gave up my own place, but I still can not afford to pay my debts.
If you miss one month, you can't pay two months, and if you miss two months, there is no way to pay three. I can't get things back on tract without paying the back payments that I missed. I had great credit, and took pride in myself for having a high credit score. But, now, the decision I made ruined that for me. My credit is in the toilet.
My attorney did his best to assure me that it is the economy and not to beat myself up over it. I will recover from this and be stronger for it. I have downsized my life so much over the past year that it does not require me to make a lot of money to live comfortable. Now, with only receiving unemployment, living with a friend, I can make it. But I need to work. I need purpose. Yes, absolutely, getting my degree gives me purpose; but a job would be so awesome.
I miss not having any classwork to do. This past week was so boring and this week will be about the same. I have decided to clean the carpets in the house, just because I need to fill up countless hours during the day. If I stretch it out, I might fill up 3 days, its a big house. I thought about doing volunteer work, but thats as far as I got with it; thinking about it.
I just needed to see something great. I had my appointment with the bankruptcy attorney this morning, paid the retainer, and now the bankruptcy is in the works. It is sad. I feel no relief, just feel like a slug for not being able to meet my credit obligations.
I paid all my bills on time and always more than what was due for the past year, even though I was unemployed. But when I ran out of savings, it was rent and food, or bills. I chose to pay the rent. I moved in with a friend and gave up my own place, but I still can not afford to pay my debts.
If you miss one month, you can't pay two months, and if you miss two months, there is no way to pay three. I can't get things back on tract without paying the back payments that I missed. I had great credit, and took pride in myself for having a high credit score. But, now, the decision I made ruined that for me. My credit is in the toilet.
My attorney did his best to assure me that it is the economy and not to beat myself up over it. I will recover from this and be stronger for it. I have downsized my life so much over the past year that it does not require me to make a lot of money to live comfortable. Now, with only receiving unemployment, living with a friend, I can make it. But I need to work. I need purpose. Yes, absolutely, getting my degree gives me purpose; but a job would be so awesome.
I miss not having any classwork to do. This past week was so boring and this week will be about the same. I have decided to clean the carpets in the house, just because I need to fill up countless hours during the day. If I stretch it out, I might fill up 3 days, its a big house. I thought about doing volunteer work, but thats as far as I got with it; thinking about it.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Its done
Well my final is done and sent in to the drop box. I feel good about it, went through the check list and I am sure I have meet everything. Now, all I can do is wait for the grade.
This next week will be hard, going in and out of the grade book, waiting to see the final grade. I know they do not have to be posted until the end of unit 10, but I continue to look everyday.
I will continue to blog after this class is over, it has been fun. I have been able to unload some thoughts. I started keeping a journal after my separation 5 years ago, and it helped me to write down my emotional pain; some days were good and some days were just awful. It was better than emailing my friends and taking them on my emotional roller coaster. They were very supportive, but there comes a time when they say enough is enough, get on with your life. So the journal came in to play.
This blog was probably meant to be entirely about school, but seems I had way too much drama in my life for the past month that it was good to blog about it.
As for my continuing saga about my son, he is still in Dallas, he is still sober, and he is planning on staying to be there when his girlfriend gets out. She could get 2 to 20 for assault with a deadly weapon. He was able to finally visit her last week end and that was good for him to know she is alright and good for her to know he is waiting for her. My only hope for all of it is that he stay sober.
He says he loves her and will wait for her to be normal again. Get back on her meds, get some much needed counseling, and then their life can get back on track. I understand love, and if this is what he needs to keep him sober, then I am ok with that too.
This next week will be hard, going in and out of the grade book, waiting to see the final grade. I know they do not have to be posted until the end of unit 10, but I continue to look everyday.
I will continue to blog after this class is over, it has been fun. I have been able to unload some thoughts. I started keeping a journal after my separation 5 years ago, and it helped me to write down my emotional pain; some days were good and some days were just awful. It was better than emailing my friends and taking them on my emotional roller coaster. They were very supportive, but there comes a time when they say enough is enough, get on with your life. So the journal came in to play.
This blog was probably meant to be entirely about school, but seems I had way too much drama in my life for the past month that it was good to blog about it.
As for my continuing saga about my son, he is still in Dallas, he is still sober, and he is planning on staying to be there when his girlfriend gets out. She could get 2 to 20 for assault with a deadly weapon. He was able to finally visit her last week end and that was good for him to know she is alright and good for her to know he is waiting for her. My only hope for all of it is that he stay sober.
He says he loves her and will wait for her to be normal again. Get back on her meds, get some much needed counseling, and then their life can get back on track. I understand love, and if this is what he needs to keep him sober, then I am ok with that too.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Finals Week
This is the week end when my friends say I drive them crazy. I am stressed, of course, trying to make sure I have completed all my final projects and get them turned in on time. I stay current with all my classes and weekly work, so I should not be stressed, but I am human.
My comp paper is coming into shape. I am at the editing phase and it is going fine. I still feel like I am missing something. It reads fine, and follows my thesis, but I just feel like I need something else added to it. I will get it done. I feel confident.
I am taking Sunday off, it is Easter and plan to head to my daughter's house to celebrate with them. Usually I would have them over for a big meal, but this year I have no place of my own and still do not feel comfortable having them over. I am excited to go to their new apartment. I have not been there before. They moved in December.
I hope we all stay in-touch with each other through the blog. It was interesting. It became a dumping zone for my feelings, so I think I will keep it up.
My comp paper is coming into shape. I am at the editing phase and it is going fine. I still feel like I am missing something. It reads fine, and follows my thesis, but I just feel like I need something else added to it. I will get it done. I feel confident.
I am taking Sunday off, it is Easter and plan to head to my daughter's house to celebrate with them. Usually I would have them over for a big meal, but this year I have no place of my own and still do not feel comfortable having them over. I am excited to go to their new apartment. I have not been there before. They moved in December.
I hope we all stay in-touch with each other through the blog. It was interesting. It became a dumping zone for my feelings, so I think I will keep it up.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Denied
My unemployment was denied. I have been on unemployment for a year. After all the tiers have run, I had to re-open my claim. So I did, and they came back with a "no" because I have no reported income from 10-08 to 12-08, that is not true. So now I need to call them and see what's up.
The phone is continually busy, but I keep trying. I will get through, and get things straightened out.
I still may be denied, but I did work those two months and should have a report of income. Maybe I will get a few more weeks, anything will help. I am getting set up with temp agencies within the next few weeks. Since I have no unemployment, I can work temp jobs so money comes in.
So today I will write my abstract for my final paper. That should take me a few days to get right. Then I need to prepare a power point for my final project in math. Thank goodness we do not have to do a final exam. WooHoo. The project will still be difficult. Everything is due next week, so the time is right to find a temp job. Get finals done, relax just a bit and focus on getting work.
My friend says don't worry about paying rent that things will be fine. She says for me to just focus on school and finding a job. I can start paying rent when I have money coming in. I refuse to let her buy things for me. Oh my goodness, that would absolutely kill me to have to ask someone for money to buy toilet paper, toothpaste, or hairspray. I have a little savings stashed away, so I will use it. It upsets me for her to even offer to pay for something I need. I need nothing and will never ask for help. It is bad enough that I have moved into her house. It does not feel like home. It feels like limbo.
And yes, I know if the tables were turned, I would do the same. I would offer my home and she could stay with me as long as she needed to. So I try to remember that. I have always been the "go to person" and I have never had a "go to person" in my life. So this is very strange and very unforgiving.
Well on to my abstract.
The phone is continually busy, but I keep trying. I will get through, and get things straightened out.
I still may be denied, but I did work those two months and should have a report of income. Maybe I will get a few more weeks, anything will help. I am getting set up with temp agencies within the next few weeks. Since I have no unemployment, I can work temp jobs so money comes in.
So today I will write my abstract for my final paper. That should take me a few days to get right. Then I need to prepare a power point for my final project in math. Thank goodness we do not have to do a final exam. WooHoo. The project will still be difficult. Everything is due next week, so the time is right to find a temp job. Get finals done, relax just a bit and focus on getting work.
My friend says don't worry about paying rent that things will be fine. She says for me to just focus on school and finding a job. I can start paying rent when I have money coming in. I refuse to let her buy things for me. Oh my goodness, that would absolutely kill me to have to ask someone for money to buy toilet paper, toothpaste, or hairspray. I have a little savings stashed away, so I will use it. It upsets me for her to even offer to pay for something I need. I need nothing and will never ask for help. It is bad enough that I have moved into her house. It does not feel like home. It feels like limbo.
And yes, I know if the tables were turned, I would do the same. I would offer my home and she could stay with me as long as she needed to. So I try to remember that. I have always been the "go to person" and I have never had a "go to person" in my life. So this is very strange and very unforgiving.
Well on to my abstract.
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