Patience, Wish I had some

I keep checking the grade book for my classes. I know, grade do not have to be in until next week, but I as noted, do not have much patience.

I just needed to see something great. I had my appointment with the bankruptcy attorney this morning, paid the retainer, and now the bankruptcy is in the works. It is sad. I feel no relief, just feel like a slug for not being able to meet my credit obligations.

I paid all my bills on time and always more than what was due for the past year, even though I was unemployed. But when I ran out of savings, it was rent and food, or bills. I chose to pay the rent. I moved in with a friend and gave up my own place, but I still can not afford to pay my debts.

If you miss one month, you can't pay two months, and if you miss two months, there is no way to pay three. I can't get things back on tract without paying the back payments that I missed. I had great credit, and took pride in myself for having a high credit score. But, now, the decision I made ruined that for me. My credit is in the toilet.

My attorney did his best to assure me that it is the economy and not to beat myself up over it. I will recover from this and be stronger for it. I have downsized my life so much over the past year that it does not require me to make a lot of money to live comfortable. Now, with only receiving unemployment, living with a friend, I can make it. But I need to work. I need purpose. Yes, absolutely, getting my degree gives me purpose; but a job would be so awesome.

I miss not having any classwork to do. This past week was so boring and this week will be about the same. I have decided to clean the carpets in the house, just because I need to fill up countless hours during the day. If I stretch it out, I might fill up 3 days, its a big house. I thought about doing volunteer work, but thats as far as I got with it; thinking about it.