I was researching information on the web for my comp paper and found this social anxiety disorder so I clicked on it and oh my gosh, it was like the author reached in my mind and wrote about it.
I have suffered with this all my life. I never knew it had a label. But I guess any issue a person has can be labeled. When I was married and my children were young, I always had them as a buffer. You know someone to hold your as you walked through a store. Even holding a baby in your arms was comforting when out in public. People around you don't see you, they see who you are with. I was always able to just disappear into the background.
When I was working I was always around the familiar, so it wasn't so bad. I traveled because I had to, but after the initial anxiety of going through the airport and being on the plane, I would arrive and be around familiar people, co-workers. But I always stayed in the hotel and ordered room service because I could not make myself go to the restaurant. I am not working now and haven't worked for a year and going on an interview is torture. I wish I trusted those work-at-home offers, I would do that in a heartbeat. I am afraid of them.
Now that I am alone, this disorder is 10 times worse. I never leave my house unless I absolutely have to. I do the necessary; get groceries, gas in my car, pay the rent, go to the bank, let my friend's puppy out to potty. That is the extent of my outside travel. I could never have stepped foot into a traditional school, but on-line works.
Last Comp. class it took me two weeks to go to the library to get a library card and check out a book. Which put me into a marathon race to finish my paper. This class I can get everything on-line and don't have to leave the comfort of my home, three cheers for that.
All of my adult life I have suffered from this, so now how do I change. I don't take anti-depressants, I am not depressed. People have told me that I am, but I am really not. I took them once when I was first separated, and they didn't help the anxiety. So now what, what do I do with the information. It takes me days to make a phone call. Just knowing will help. Eventually I will make a call to a doctor and see what I can do.
Hey Peggy. I like that you are really exploring yourself and your mind right now. Sometimes it's really gratifying to "play doctor" with your own problems. Of course, friends and relatives will have their own opinions, but only you know what it feels like to be you. I read that you were given an anti-depressant in the past. And I agree, if you weren't depressed, it's not going to do a single thing for you. But what I can tell you from personal experience is that depression and anxiety are 2 seperate things. There are medicines out there that are specifically for anxiety issues. I encourage you to make that call to the doctor as soon as you're able. It can only get better, right? Good luck with everything.
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